The month of August is special to me for many reasons. It holds multiple landmark moments related to my life in the US. It is not surprising that I get prompts to reflect sometimes just by being aware of the dates. Sharing a couple of those anniversaries and my reflections this year, 2022.
Immig-niversary
It has been 10years!
10 years ago, I arrived in the United States. What a journey it has been!
I got to my apartment community in Durham NC, in a taxi at night after a long, emotional, and exhausting trip from Lagos, Nigeria the night before. It was my first trip to any country in North America, my third international trip ever, the first two being to the UK for 2-4weeks. Despite the stress of the flight, my damaged bag and lost items, my first task of arriving at my destination was a success. I remember the leasing office was closed when I arrived and without a US SIM card, the kindness of a neighbor who offered me their phone to call the security officer on duty, made it possible for me to find and settle in my room. It felt surreal that after 7months+ in a year that was filled with layers of challenges, I was away to begin this life, thousands of miles away from Lagos Nigeria! A new life earned by a lot of determination, sacrifices and a debt that I struggled to come to terms with but I hearkened to the voice in my head that said ‘it will all be worth it’. Most of that first year was spent at Duke and with the people of the Duke community.
Propelled by the goal of transforming healthcare delivery and making the experience of clinicians in Nigeria and the world better, I had great hopes for the future despite the uncertainties. The transition from that pregnant, new immigrant, student, uncertain about many things but sure about the power of faith, curiosity, diligence, and personal responsibilities, to the woman I am now, is very huge.
Grad-niversary
Immig-niversary was grand, right? 10 seem like a perfect number. Nothing prepared me for the waves of emotions I felt when I saw my graduation pictures for the Masters of Management in Clinical Informatics degree from Duke University, Fuqua School of Business.
That was 9 years ago!
Seeing the pictures from graduation on my memories brought back a flurry of emotions mainly gratitude, excitement and amazement! My daughter's chubby infant cheeks at graduation are for the win! I relived the presence of my Mother whose belief in education and unflinching support for everything to keep me on track academically sowed an important seed in me.
C. and K. who made sure my car-less situation did not prevent me from getting to class or pediatric clinic appointments.
Bro. P, whose kindness can’t be quantified - took me in while I awaited employment.
My darling S., God-sent neighbor and Fuqua MBA friend.
And F who made sure I had a ‘roommate’ as I neared term while waiting for my mother to arrive.
My classmates, whose experiences and knowledge made the class richer exponentially! Some of them went the extra mile to make their immigrant, pregnant classmate experience the meaning of unconditional kindness from strangers and earned family status with me. Everyone in those pictures had been a source of blessing and lessons to me. That experience influenced some of the thoughts shared in my first article on this website, which remains valid today.
In those pictures, there I was too, with emotions of gratitude even though I was also weighed down by feelings of worry, betrayal and insecurity. The realities of numerous flavors of uncertainty for many aspects of my life lingered!
But alas, here I am today. Remarried, education debt-free (paid in full), in a management role at the 2022 Forbes largest healthcare company in the World. One of those organizations that just a few years ago, recruiters would neither review my resume nor let me through the final stages of interviews because of my need for ‘work authorization sponsorship’.
Allah has been kind to me. No iota of doubt! My younger self had been right about many things than I give her credit for. Her love for education and service, her curiosity, her bravery, determination and perseverance has paid off and continues to pay off in this woman I am becoming.
My chosen family and community has been a blessing to me. Duke education and work, despite some challenges in few pockets, was one of the best things that’s happened to me.
The Triangle, in North Carolina, especially Durham - was the right home for me in retrospect, the place of growth and blossom. The Maryland pivot came at the perfect time and was a great respite ground.
So grateful to the few but supportive people who stood for and by me both present and absent at graduation. They had front row seats to my struggles and challenges, knowing the stories behind the stories, and the strains behind my smiles back during my trying season. Those who kept reminding me of who I am. Those who kept knocking when I shut the door to do the necessary internal reflective work of rebirth and gathered enough strength to be my own rescue with total trust in Allah.
No judgement, no arguments, just love, understanding and support!
I found them waiting at the door when I finally resurfaced with the intrinsic motivation that made external motivation more meaningful. The beautiful thing is that you know yourselves and are probably smiling reading this. You continue to cheer me on as I got back on this trajectory and move into this season, largely on the back of faith, smart-work and persistence, towards increasing freedom and abundance.
The investments of that post-medical school informatics education, on a path less traveled, and the perseverance to gain relevant training & experience, sometimes in harsh conditions, is paying off. I have the scars but I have been rewarded with choice and a level of freedom that seemed ever so distant, keeping in mind my poor socio-economic origin.
Which of His Favors can I deny?
The best of my experiences have been sources of transformational blessings and the worst of my experiences have been laced with life-changing lessons. The dips have had what I like to call the 'catapult effect', becoming springboard to heights, and the heights have been fascinating. So many stories within stories!
None at all!
Continuing to depend on Him and putting my best self forward everyday for the causes, ideas, processes and people I believe in. Ready to continue to grow in discernment, contentment, learning, giving, receiving, and most of all gratitude!
So help me God!
(c) Bilqees 2022