My friend and I were having a discussion over the phone one beautiful sunny afternoon. He made me laugh so hard in one instant and the next, he asked about the move. All of a sudden, the entire weight of the planned move dawned on me. It was as though I had not been planning it for months. After the ‘Reset’ in December, the adjustment that followed was challenging, but I had anticipated it. I would rather fight for my well-being than sit back and watch my life be snatched from me.
His question caused me to replay the events of the past few months in my head: the triumphs, the challenges. My conviction to live and be alive was in full force. My abundance mentality got me through the low times and helped me appreciate the great ones.
This meant so much more than just a physical move.
It meant decluttering
It meant escaping from excess overwhelming baggage
It meant clarity
It meant focusing on things and relationships that matter
It meant letting go of dreams that are neither mine nor of value to me
It meant repositioning myself for my contribution to the world
It meant embracing myself, my value and my future
It meant leaving behind distractions
It meant a new beginning, a fresh start
It meant freedom
It was also a mental and emotional move.
That reality hit me hard in the chest. 'Regrets and self-blame' tried to creep through the crevices of my vulnerability. I was quick to shut them out and remind myself how much I tried, pushed and patiently persevered through the past few years. How my reluctance to let go long after I knew it was the end, almost cost me my life. It just was not rewarding to dwell in the past, trying to handle something well outside my control. That was enough learning.
Next came 'doubt'. I wondered if I would be able to move by myself. I wondered if I would get any help or if I could take on the feat without help. It sent shivers down my spine. Again I reminded myself of the strength and courage it took to break free and how important this was for my financial, mental, social, and physical well-being. My friend was surprised by my reaction but said words of encouragement. I reaffirmed myself, spoke it aloud and soaked myself in the positive words that came from my soul.
I wished for the rain, I craved to walk in it.
About 20minutes later I heard a familiar sound. The splattering of raindrops on the window.
IT WAS RAINING!!!
I was so happy and you guessed right. I had an awesome time not only walking in it but also singing, dancing and praying. I was reinvigorated and looked forward to the move with renewed faith, courage, and happiness.
And God provided from sources I never imagined!
I spoke about my intent to move with friends, acquaintances, and a few co-workers. Though my initial plan was to call movers, my friends surprised me, they brought other friends and family to help. Praying that they are always blessed. They brightened the flames of my faith in kindness and goodness in the world. Within a few hours, my old apartment was empty and I could sleep in the new one. I am enjoying the change and it truly feels like home. The peace in my mind has translated into a feeling of grace. Not bound by variation in location, physical structures or material things, I am light and able to fly.
There is a beautiful world out there, dare to find it and be a part of it, lavishing it with your soul’s beauty.
Onward on this journey…
(c) Bilqees 2016