Anne Sweeney is credited for the quote,
“Define success on your own terms, achieve it by your own rules, and build a life you're proud to live.”
I have a copy of it tucked on my dresser mirror. I try to remind me of it often (and as few a time as I get the opportunity to look in that mirror, lol).
I was having a conversation with my colleague about our Epic Certification sometime ago and I made us think deeper into what sacrifices we had to make as working moms to achieve that. Getting an Epic Certification may be a mundane task that a lot of people would probably say is not a feat worth pausing to celebrate. When you take into account the circumstances surrounding your success on a goal, you may begin to appreciate and value the little leaps more and find a reason to give yourself a pat on the back before getting on another self-improvement, value-adding path. For you, it may not be a certification, it may be a new job, a new degree, a new home, a vacation, a dress you have been saving up to buy, anything that you put an effort in to achieve.
For me, each trip to Epic, meant months of planning. Not only flights, accommodation etc., Oh! Those were pretty easy. But, picking dates that will be convenient for my babysitter and ensuring that my child is able to be in school despite my absence were a tougher nut to crack. The fact that unlike my past work-related travels, this is a week long in duration, also added to my anxiety. To add more fun to the lot already listed, I had to do the trip twice, first in July/August and the second in November, for the different training areas! During both trips I encountered challenges. On the first, my Friday evening return flight was canceled. A worried mom I sure was and I had to call up my babysitter to explain the situation! Then, plans had to be made urgently (many thanks to the Administrative Assistant at my work) to get me an additional night of stay at the hotel and a new flight from Wisconsin. On the second trip, though I had put my learned lesson from the previous trip- to not trust the last flight out of Wisconsin into consideration- I still ended up missing my flight (long story) and that caused me to arrive in the early hours of the next day. Made two drives to pick her up and drive us home. We got home about 1 am. At the end, I was simply thankful for our safety and the opportunity to have my child back in my arms and under my care.
That, of course, was phase one. With each training came the individual exams. How do I plan to read with my end-to-end schedules as a working single parent? The hard choice to either finally rest/sleep or study when she falls asleep. ‘Study’ usually wins especially when my exam date is fixed and is drawing near. The YMCA (for which I am grateful to afford the membership) stopped being a gym or wellness center but a library because of the availability of child care during our hours there. And how can I forget my friend’s mother? I’ll make multiple trips just to be in a home where someone else is able to watch my child while I read. God bless her.
I can recollect very well the day of my last exam (in this series), it was on my sister’s birthday and I hoped that I pass as a pretend-gift to her. I had taken one exam two days before and was feeling less confident about this one. Then, I read the story of the Canadian woman who had been liberated from a terrible marriage via education and how her life was transformed. For many reasons, I drew so much courage from her story and faced the exam with renewed vigor. But that lasted for just a while. I woke up on the day of the exam feeling a little inadequate even though I had read the materials inside out to the best of my ability. FEAR. I tried so hard to recollect a line of prayer in Arabic but it kept evading me and so I said it in English as I remembered.
The fear made me forget to pick up my daughter’s lunch. I had to drive back to pick it up and that gave me an opportunity to cool down, relax and start the day on a different note. I had my moment of pause to reassess how I was going about my day. So instead of my initial drive in silence all worried and thinking only about the exam, I decided to enjoy the drive with my daughter. A RESET. We chat, sang and played pretend games and we both were happy as I dropped her off at school. It was a complete makeover. Sanuqri'uka fala tansa (meaning: We will make you recite and you will not forget)! Yes, the words came to me with ease while listening to the radio on my way to work in my newly embraced joyful mode. I made an amazing grade even better than the initial one that I had felt more confident about. I got my certification, I was thrilled.
I left the exam and headed immediately for the team meeting room. I had a rethink and consciously took a break to let the moment sink in, to show gratitude, to enjoy the achievement, and to share the good news with my loved ones. I started a piece of this write-up then, bought myself a good lunch to celebrate then went back, feeling reinvigorated, to join my team as we worked on the project at hand. One down, many to go! Unto the next one with full force.
HURRAY!
Happy Mother’s Day!