I had a conversation recently with two colleagues of mine, one an American, the other a Nigerian, about the state of women in Nigeria. I realized that my Nigerian colleague and I had varying perspectives of the average Nigerian woman. He was of the opinion that women in Nigeria are equal and many-a-time excel their male counterparts in a lot of pursuits. I, on the other hand, had a different opinion. A lot of Women in Nigeria are ‘very weak’ despite their remarkable strength. A lot are subjected or have subjected themselves to the shackles of 'culture', 'religion', biased laws and chauvinistic expectations of the society. I mean, a country where Gender equality bill is not allowed to pass for frivolous and embarrassing reasons, in March this year (currently being reconsidered). I blamed our varied positions about the issue on our different experiences. (Ti won ba bi mi lere maa ri wi).
Then interestingly, an opportunity to discuss the same topic arose again a few weeks later. In the midst of the conversation and arguments, I made a statement that he said shocked him and got him thinking. A statement that I was amazed by its weight myself:
"The positions held by or heights attained in academic pursuit by many Nigerian women do not necessarily translate into power or liberation."
How do we ensure that it all does not end at the good grades, if at all she is allowed to go to school?
How do we ensure the well-being and confidence of females throughout their lives- family, school, society, marriage, workplace, travel and so on?
How do we teach her that her right is not hers only when it has rewards for men or when it is given to her out of pity or love?
That love her or hate her, her right is her right, and it is well deserved.
Some of the solutions are:
- Mentoring: Strong, successful and enlightened women need to share their experiences and guide the younger females to paths that build confidence, encourage aspiration and fulfillment in life.
- Unconventional learning or training sessions: What comes to mind first is a trade, but really a lot of girls and young women will benefit from learning about their rights, sexuality, patriarchy and more.
- Encouraging reading, expression and travel
- Advocacy for laws that protect the interest of the girl child and women
I was reminded of all these again reading through the first few chapters of Sheryl Sandberg's 'Lean In'. The present US presidential race is another good example of the state of women. It is a worldwide problem, its intensity only varies from place to place, state to state, country to country.
Can't wait to get my ordered copy of the book, a long time coming.
(c) Bilqees 2016